Motivation is a Harsh Mistress

So, if only I could just get my act together a little more. I was all set to save the world, and then.... I picked up the phone. Why do I do these things to myself? Cause maybe I have hope that this time around, it will be different. Selena called me, after I put her to sleep early, after being annoyed by all things, after getting my motivation back in an inspirational way, I picked up the phone and had to hear it all over again, "Do you think we have a chance?" I hate that sentence. She never lets up, even after huge fights and trying to calm, she rushes me with a question of commitment. I'm just trying to get over hating her, why would I even want to say something about us in the slightest. Can't I just had a friend who calls, says hello, laughs, jokes, instead of this commitment bullshit. Because it's not set and dry like it seems on here. It's years of turmoil and suffering. I just wanted to clean my fucking place, and I let her put me in a mood, all night and all day. I over slept completely and now I have only a couple hours to clean. At the very least, I don't feel like I did a night ago. I still have hope, thank you Angela. Now, I will go out with some faith in my heart.