[Jay-Z's Mom:]
Sean Carter was born December 4th
Weighing in at 10 pounds 8 ounces
He was the last of my 4 children
The only one who didn't give me any pain when i gave birth to him
And that's how i knew that he was a special child
They say they never miss you till you dead or you gone, so on that note I'm going after this blog. So this night has been a rejuvenation for me, and I hate to say it, but it was done by me again. In the sense that I called those I needed and they were also there when I needed them. I love my friends when they can come through for me. It was a blast. Where do I begin?
Angela, Angela all over again. No, not my Angela, but the new one. Conway. She intrigued me in that I talked to her less when i first ran into her at a birthday party for a mutual friend. I talked more with her hispanic friend than her, and yet we hit it off online. Then soon, it was talk, talk talk, then when I met her, she stopped it all. She became someone else, and it took forever to wear her away and get to her to be something more, but I always felt like I just needed to get to know her. Well, tonight, I can say she helped me.
I've been so out of it. So distraught and disaligned. I figured it out on the phone with her. It was September, when September stopped being my friend. I didn't freak like I did with Angela, but something else happend. I was able to rationalize it. Dheeraj tried to see if I was ok, and I felt alright. I said, "Is she dead? Then I don't care." in the sense that I don't mind if she turns me away, because I know who I am, and I know what I did was right. That I am none of those who abused her, that denied her, and tried to destroy her life. I was above it and a good person. But, i just didn't see it. Somehow, i filtered it out and forgot to learn about it. This lead me down a path of ignorance and distruction. The more I told myself this, I got cocky, and above myself. I didn't know how to counteract this new rationalization, and I let my loneliness just keep building.
Selena couldn't help, and she just got worse as time went on. I had fun for awhile with my friends, and it was grand, but then they left for their motherlands, and I stayed here. Matters because worse when my jaw was rendered incompacitated with having my wisdom teeth removed, preventing me from really talking at all. Soon, I fell out of the loop from all my social networks, and soon I was worse than before.
I started to grab for things, anything, any sensation that would kill my impending doom. It finally manifested it'self in going to the devil and forgetting who i was. I stopped trying to be good and I made a destermination to look out for number one. It was horrible. I started to just feel alone and desolate. Like I was isolated even more. Life stopped being exciting, with any meaning, it just became..... a narrow path. I forgot about being in a "Post - Veronica" world. Here is where Angela comes in.
I don't know what happend. I got up, went to work at the music store, then off to the after school program. The kids are always good, and love them all too much. I got home, ready to clean my crap, but I needed to eat, so I made some food as Rob came home early. I wanted to watch Serpico with him, but I guess My Name is Earl and 30 Rock were new, so we watched that. Afterwards, I just picked up my phone and went in my room. I just, I just determined that moment there that I needed to relax. I grabbed my brand new Miles Davis album, and sat in my room. I called Veronica Sotelo first. OH YEAH! I was going to call her after getting a message from her. But then, I just needed to relax, and I guess get out more than I even though. I called Angela, and she picked up. I said hello, and asked what she was doing, and I guess I just went into it. How life just sucked, how I'm aimless and I need to be good again. I forgot what i was doing and just let the gloom take over my heart.
We talked it all out, and when it was all said and done, it lasted over 2 hours. I can't believe it, it's never been done, not with her, especially not with her. But you know, it was so much help. I feel like a million dollars. Veronica called right after too and we yuked it up for like a half hour. It was grand. Now I have a joy again. I don't know what it truly was, maybe just a friend to hear me out after so long, but she did it, whatever it was, I feel rejuvenated again. I talked to her online soon after...
Alex says:
IT IS A BEACH!!!
Angela says:
i KNOW!
Alex says:
HA HA HA!
Thanks so much Angela, I feel so revitalized, so much alive again!
Angela says:
i see that!
Alex says:
I mean, I'm not out of the shit yet, but I'm digging my way out of it
Angela says:
sure
soooooo
still alive and kickin?
can i say thanks for taking me to see the Wizard of Oz at the movie theatre that one time
that was so cool
I have never seen it on a big screeen before
except remember that one guy that came in and was talkign
tlaking*
talking*
Alex says:
Hey, no problem, I was happy you came
Angela says:
haha
Alex says:
Yeah, that guy was about to stab us
Angela says:
hahha
Alex says:
I was going to go with my family to see "It's a Wonderful Life" there too, but then the show was lost or canceled on their site and we couldn't get ahold of them
Angela says:
ohhhhh
Alex says:
They just aquired another theater, but I think the distribution deal prevented them from showing other films than new ones at the moment
Ugh, I was trying forever to see I Am Legend there
Angela says:
oh
i cant believe i talked to you on the phone for like 2 hours
Alex says:
Yeah, we haven't done that in a long time
Angela says:
or ever
lol
Alex says:
HA HA
Pretty good feat, eh?
Angela says:
yeah
Alex says:
I know, it was so good and so long, I forgot all about cleaning up, all about watching my movie. At the end, I wrote myself a little inspiration note, and then collapsed on the floor with a joyous weight and stared at the ceiling
Angela says:
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHHAHHA
Alex says:
Mmmmm yes, it was a grand old time
And yet again, I keep listening to this one song that sounds so inspirational again
over and over
Angela says:
that happens to me alllll the time
what song?
Alex says:
ha ha, I bet you dance over and over too
Angela says:
definately
Jay-Z's December 4th. It was an obsession at work, and I didn't know why, but tonight, it turned into my victory song, and thank God, I'm free at last, free atleast, THANK GOD ALMIGHTY, I'M FREE ATLAST!!
Sean Carter was born December 4th
Weighing in at 10 pounds 8 ounces
He was the last of my 4 children
The only one who didn't give me any pain when i gave birth to him
And that's how i knew that he was a special child
They say they never miss you till you dead or you gone, so on that note I'm going after this blog. So this night has been a rejuvenation for me, and I hate to say it, but it was done by me again. In the sense that I called those I needed and they were also there when I needed them. I love my friends when they can come through for me. It was a blast. Where do I begin?
Angela, Angela all over again. No, not my Angela, but the new one. Conway. She intrigued me in that I talked to her less when i first ran into her at a birthday party for a mutual friend. I talked more with her hispanic friend than her, and yet we hit it off online. Then soon, it was talk, talk talk, then when I met her, she stopped it all. She became someone else, and it took forever to wear her away and get to her to be something more, but I always felt like I just needed to get to know her. Well, tonight, I can say she helped me.
I've been so out of it. So distraught and disaligned. I figured it out on the phone with her. It was September, when September stopped being my friend. I didn't freak like I did with Angela, but something else happend. I was able to rationalize it. Dheeraj tried to see if I was ok, and I felt alright. I said, "Is she dead? Then I don't care." in the sense that I don't mind if she turns me away, because I know who I am, and I know what I did was right. That I am none of those who abused her, that denied her, and tried to destroy her life. I was above it and a good person. But, i just didn't see it. Somehow, i filtered it out and forgot to learn about it. This lead me down a path of ignorance and distruction. The more I told myself this, I got cocky, and above myself. I didn't know how to counteract this new rationalization, and I let my loneliness just keep building.
Selena couldn't help, and she just got worse as time went on. I had fun for awhile with my friends, and it was grand, but then they left for their motherlands, and I stayed here. Matters because worse when my jaw was rendered incompacitated with having my wisdom teeth removed, preventing me from really talking at all. Soon, I fell out of the loop from all my social networks, and soon I was worse than before.
I started to grab for things, anything, any sensation that would kill my impending doom. It finally manifested it'self in going to the devil and forgetting who i was. I stopped trying to be good and I made a destermination to look out for number one. It was horrible. I started to just feel alone and desolate. Like I was isolated even more. Life stopped being exciting, with any meaning, it just became..... a narrow path. I forgot about being in a "Post - Veronica" world. Here is where Angela comes in.
I don't know what happend. I got up, went to work at the music store, then off to the after school program. The kids are always good, and love them all too much. I got home, ready to clean my crap, but I needed to eat, so I made some food as Rob came home early. I wanted to watch Serpico with him, but I guess My Name is Earl and 30 Rock were new, so we watched that. Afterwards, I just picked up my phone and went in my room. I just, I just determined that moment there that I needed to relax. I grabbed my brand new Miles Davis album, and sat in my room. I called Veronica Sotelo first. OH YEAH! I was going to call her after getting a message from her. But then, I just needed to relax, and I guess get out more than I even though. I called Angela, and she picked up. I said hello, and asked what she was doing, and I guess I just went into it. How life just sucked, how I'm aimless and I need to be good again. I forgot what i was doing and just let the gloom take over my heart.
We talked it all out, and when it was all said and done, it lasted over 2 hours. I can't believe it, it's never been done, not with her, especially not with her. But you know, it was so much help. I feel like a million dollars. Veronica called right after too and we yuked it up for like a half hour. It was grand. Now I have a joy again. I don't know what it truly was, maybe just a friend to hear me out after so long, but she did it, whatever it was, I feel rejuvenated again. I talked to her online soon after...
Alex says:
IT IS A BEACH!!!
Angela says:
i KNOW!
Alex says:
HA HA HA!
Thanks so much Angela, I feel so revitalized, so much alive again!
Angela says:
i see that!
Alex says:
I mean, I'm not out of the shit yet, but I'm digging my way out of it
Angela says:
sure
soooooo
still alive and kickin?
can i say thanks for taking me to see the Wizard of Oz at the movie theatre that one time
that was so cool
I have never seen it on a big screeen before
except remember that one guy that came in and was talkign
tlaking*
talking*
Alex says:
Hey, no problem, I was happy you came
Angela says:
haha
Alex says:
Yeah, that guy was about to stab us
Angela says:
hahha
Alex says:
I was going to go with my family to see "It's a Wonderful Life" there too, but then the show was lost or canceled on their site and we couldn't get ahold of them
Angela says:
ohhhhh
Alex says:
They just aquired another theater, but I think the distribution deal prevented them from showing other films than new ones at the moment
Ugh, I was trying forever to see I Am Legend there
Angela says:
oh
i cant believe i talked to you on the phone for like 2 hours
Alex says:
Yeah, we haven't done that in a long time
Angela says:
or ever
lol
Alex says:
HA HA
Pretty good feat, eh?
Angela says:
yeah
Alex says:
I know, it was so good and so long, I forgot all about cleaning up, all about watching my movie. At the end, I wrote myself a little inspiration note, and then collapsed on the floor with a joyous weight and stared at the ceiling
Angela says:
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHHAHHA
Alex says:
Mmmmm yes, it was a grand old time
And yet again, I keep listening to this one song that sounds so inspirational again
over and over
Angela says:
that happens to me alllll the time
what song?
Alex says:
ha ha, I bet you dance over and over too
Angela says:
definately
Jay-Z's December 4th. It was an obsession at work, and I didn't know why, but tonight, it turned into my victory song, and thank God, I'm free at last, free atleast, THANK GOD ALMIGHTY, I'M FREE ATLAST!!
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