Nothing Can Change This [You Know the Word]

Goddamn it, I have fucking Angela. This girl seems to pride herself on smart and bold dissisions over her life, that she is somehow better by commiting herself to a chosen path that may be less than ideal, but the most important is she commits to making something all her's. I guess that's a neat idea, but it's full of shit. I hate hearing her life. It makes me want to cry myself to sleep every night over the girl I am still so passionate about after all these years. I hate the fuck out of it. I mean, it's so dissappointing to hear from this girl. First it's the weight gain, then it's the horrid dive of a cafe she works in, with her gambling, strip bar attending, pig of a boss. Then it's the men who just hit on her in sick and disgusting ways, then it's the new waitress with her boyfriend's reply to Angela's offer of a drink, "Only if it's crack." Then it's the "best friend" decision to up and leave to LA with her drugy and pig of a boyfriend (who hit on Angela at a wedding they all attended together). I mean, can this be more sad? I always hear this shit, it never ends! It's the cop who she makes out with! The rebound guy after me, probably 7 years older than her, who spied on us in my blogs. Then it's the sick fuck after that whom broke up with her when she asked if he would still see her if she wanted to not have sex anymore. Then it's back to the spy guy again, whom she ditched her aunt to live with. I mean, if it's not hearing about her going to pride fest with her gay friends, then it's about the woman she picked up one night who asked for a ride and also took to get backing soda to heal her "upset stomach" (probably to also cut crack with). I don't know what it is. I mean, she is always surrounded by evil people, messed up people, and those who are just dumb all around. I mean, her friend in LA. This is the type of friend's she puts stock into? A girl who can't even see that a drug addict is not good for someone to date? She hooked Angela up with her present "venture", so how is her opinion and ideas of a "good man" even valid when she can't even get her own shit together? Now, granted, I guess I can say I'm around the same people at times. The girl who's family abused her, and boyfriend who tried to rape her. The woman who got divorced with two kids, then also got kidnapped by some drug dealer. The girl who got raped and came back from college. The girl who got raped before I went to college. I guess maybe these others are sort of odd too. But the difference is, I am their support, and Angela... she looks to those others for her support. I don't mean to say I don't ask for support from my friends who have problems, cause they do become true friends, and are to start out with, but when push comes to shove, it's me who comes to the rescue no matter when, or where. Angela, she isn't that type. She......................................... does she do anything? All these people... I just see them as keeping her down. Fuck their intentions. Everyone is a "good person" but when you see her yelling at me, telling me she needs someone more focused in her life. I mean, after about 4 odd places of living, with a couple of odd and controlling relationships, just who is getting farther in life? I have a good support network, and she has none, so I can't claim I'm better off than her. But I do know those who love me and claim a friendship... they are real, they are people, they love and fight hard for values and purpose driven ideals.... While Angela's.... well, she is the one that tells me she does have..... any friends.....