Well, that was awkard

So, I'm sitting here at my work, just minding my own business. The day is deader than a door nail, and I can't wait for something to happen, the only thing so far was a jerk ass customer tried to shop us after buying a car and my business manager was none too happy cause he stayed after for the woman and sacrificed his family time. I can't even remember what I was doing at the moment, but all of a sudden my phone rings. I don't recognize the number and I could car less, I'm a car salesman, now it's expected for odd numbers to call me, especially since my cell is plastered on my business card as my direct line. Whoever was the asshole who decided to do that to me should get smacked in the face. Anyways, it rings, I pick up, "Hello, Alex Dominguez" and this voice says, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to call you" I'm thinking it's just a customer and I say, "Why not?" and she says, "because I just.. I didn't think you would have the same number, I'm sorry" I blank stare and stop my procedure and discover in one brief instant who it is. "Oh my God, I just realized who this was" "Sorry I didn't mean to call" "No that's ok, it's fine." "Sorry." "No it's fine... are you well?" "Yeah. I am, you?" "I'm good. I'm... uh, I'm here at work, I'm a car salesman, that's why I answered all professional like." "I'm sorry I called" it's ok, you... you take care of yourself, ok?" "Ok", and I think she said you too, but I can't be sure now, come to think of it. i cold here the shock, confusion, anger, and fear in her voice. Like that it would happen again, that it would start again, bad for her, bad for me, scum of the earth, fear, hope, and love... and dread. I put the phone down, stair into the distance just for a little. See my co-workers and get up, it's time for a walk. i stroll the lot, trying to make it seem like i give a shit about my job. It's not that bad. I think to myself it's not what it used to be, before I would be crushed, before I would dwell, and even now as I write this I know it's not even good to write, but I haven't in so long that maybe I can clear my head. But as soon as I stepped onto that parking lot, i stair off into the distance, into the setting sun, and only one things comes to mind, and I say it out loud, "God, I'm an asshole"